Disenfranchised Grief
The list of losses considered as disenfranchised grief is literally long. According to (Cite), people tend to view some grief as petty or rather inconsequential. To say people are awful would be an understatement, but the notion that some grief should be shoved under a rug is uncalled for entirely. Every loss has its complexities and devastating diagnosis, but it takes a person in such a situation to best explain.
The story of my childhood female friend, who I will refer by the alias Sharon, opened my eyes to how people perceive grief. Her story is of a stillbirth that most people around her did not recognize as a significant loss; at least that is how she felt. Having gotten pregnant at seventeen years, some people even saw it as a blessing that she would proceed to college without worrying about a child. In addition, the father of her stillborn daughter, who was absent during her pregnancy, did not have the courtesy even to ask what she had named her.
Her narration of the story is heartbreaking. The condolences messages she received, ranging from she will get over it to that she is a strong lady, portrayed how most people did not understand her grief. She explains she is never looking for closure, no getting over anything. Neither is she strong because most nights she falls apart in her room, the world oblivious of her pain. She often states that her stillborn daughter remains her firstborn forever.
Sharon’s experience is one of many cases of disenfranchised grief. Most of the time, grief is a relative experience that can fail to be well acknowledged by everyone. In some cases, there is avoidance by family and friends to speak about the loss. People should further understand that loss in where there was an attachment warranting grief.
References
Hartwell-Walker, M. (2020). Causes of Disenfranchised Grief. Psych Central Professional. https://pro.psychcentral.com/causes-of-disenfranchised-grief/.
Zoll, L., & Shiner, L. (2017). A Grief Trajectory | Social Work Today Magazine. Socialworktoday.com. https://www.socialworktoday.com/news/pp_063017_5.shtml.
Zoll, L. (2019). Disenfranchised Grief: When Grief and Grievers Are Unrecognized. SocialWorker.com. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.socialworker.com/api/amp/feature-articles/practice/disenfranchised-grief-when-grief-and-grievers-are-unrecogniz/.