Effective Tips to Help You Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Parents
Parenting has no manual, and when you think you’ve got everything figured out, you see a parent that seems like they’ve got it all together. The mom whose kids are well-behaved in a restaurant. The dad, whose child isn’t throwing tantrums in the middle of the supermarket. Then you look at your children; they are whiney, keep getting food on themselves, and can’t seem to stay still for a second. Somehow you feel like you’re failing at parenting.
Every parent has had that moment where they feel like they are doing everything wrong while other parents excel. You could consider measuring up to them, but the best thing to do would be to stop the comparisons. Here are effective tips to help you stop comparing yourself to other parents!
Know That You Are Enough
Comparing yourself to other parents is normal, but you need to know that you re enough. You are doing the best you can to raise your child, and it doesn’t matter that they are hitting milestones later than they should. It shouldn’t worry you that you’re a stay at home mom or dad while the rest work. So you cry a little because of how overwhelming parenting can be. Maybe your house is a mess because your toddler is hyperactive. You should never feel like you’re not enough because you are, and you’re doing the best you can.
Focus on Your Strengths
A flower does not compete with the flower next to it; it just blooms. Some qualities set you aside from other parents. Identify them and choose to focus on them. Your child may have taken longer to potty train, but they are kind to others. You haven’t had a vacation in years, but you have raised two beautiful children. You’re always exhausted, but your child is respectful of their seniors. Please focus on the things you are doing right and work on them. If you have to compare yourself with anyone, let that person be you.
Identify Your Triggers and Work on Them
Find out the situations that make you draw comparisons and find a way of avoiding them. For most parents, social media is a big trigger. You’ll be scrolling your timeline, then suddenly you’re looking at this picture-perfect parent that seems to be getting everything right. Next thing you know, you’re thinking of all the things you’re doing wrong and what they’re doing right.
Remember that social media is a prominent façade, and most things aren’t as they seem. In this case, you should unfollow anyone that makes you feel like you are less of a parent and limit your time on social media. If your trigger is a parent who keeps highlighting your parenting mistakes, cut them off. Find out what triggers feelings of comparisons and find a solution to them.
Acknowledge That Every Parent Has Shortcomings
Every parent has something they are struggling with. In fact, you may be surprised to find out that there’s a parent who looks at you and starts drawing comparisons.
Be kinder to yourself and acknowledge that there are areas you could improve on, but at the same time, you are doing your best, and that’s enough. Take a good look at yourself and identify your weaknesses. Instead of feeling bad about them, focus on turning into strengths or growing from them.
Choose What You Take From Different Scenarios
Most times, you can’t control what you see, but you can control what you take from the situation. Switch the negative emotions into feelings of positivity. For instance, instead of feeling jealous that a friend seems to be a better parent than you are, you could choose to admire.
Don’t worry about what you’re doing wrong; ask yourself what you can learn from the situation. Find inspiration from other parents and use that as motivation to work on being a better parent. Be honest about how you feel, but don’t let it change what you’re doing right.
Celebrate Yourself
What is the one quality that makes you a great parent? When you look at yourself and your children, what achievements are you most proud of? Learn to celebrate your wins no matter how small they may seem. Did you finally get your child to eat vegetables? Celebrate yourself! Did your child say their first words? That’s a win for you!
There is nothing wrong with being proud of your achievements. Create visual mind-shifting mantras and place them in places where you can easily see them.