Executive Summaries: Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Emotional intelligence is an ineluctable quality that characterizes effective professionalism in the modern competitive workplace by helping individuals navigate through their careers by managing emotions. In “Emotional Intelligence 2.0”, Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves delivers an approach of how to creatively deal with emotions and expand an individual’s potential.

CHAPTER ONE: THE JOURNEY

Introduction. When faced with critical dilemmas between reason and emotions, an individual’s competence is tested by their ability to balance the two. In this chapter, the authors use an illustrative narrative to introduce the concept of emotional intelligence and show challenges of effective decision-making in situations riddled with heightened emotions.

When Reason and Feeling Collide

In 2204, Butch Connor encountered a great white while surfing in Salmo Creek Beach, California. In the encounter, he was paralyzed with fear while fighting racing thoughts of terror, and survival at the same time. The battle in Butch’s mind was that of intense emotions of fear and terror at the threat of imminent death as well as rational control. At the moment he also decided to want to live and see his family once more. He made a series of decisions including attacking the shark with his surfboard as a result of mixed feelings of anger, terror, and sadness. He puddled though 40 yards to the shore!

In the discovery of emotional intelligence, individuals with high levels of IQ were found to only outperform those with average IQ 20% of the time. On the other hand, those with average intelligence quotient (IQ) were however found to outperform those with higher IQ 70% of the time. Emotional intelligence was consequently discovered to be an alternative variable. Over the years, the concept has been developed through dialogue and literature such as The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book which was translated into 23 languages and produced a positive impact. Emotional Intelligence 2.0

Conclusion. Brilliant, exemplary education and high IQ, these are qualities popularly known as factors of performance. Emotional intelligence is however proving to be an alternative determinant of performance, especially in critical decision-making scenarios. This chapter has been instrumental in introducing the concept of emotional intelligence as a critical factor in behavioral competency and decision-making.

CHAPTER TOW: THE BIG PICTURE

Introduction. Knowledge of an individual’s emotions in critical situations can critically influence their behavior. In this chapter, the authors posit the concept of emotional hijacking that causes poor decision-making in critical situations.

Triggers and Emotional Hijackings. Emotional hijackings are characterized by an emotional takeover of an individual’s behavior leaving no room for rational intervention. Like in Butch Connor’s encounter with the shark, the intensity of emotions influence the likelihood of an emotional hijacking. The human brain will react to life and death situations emotionally through fear, panic, and paralysis. In Butch’s case, he managed to control emotions including fear and terror and reasoned. These emotions, however, did not disappear. His rational thoughts were able to overcome the emotions and prevent emotional hijack. Despite the presence of danger, human beings can control the thoughts that follow reactive emotions such as fear and terror. This however requires acknowledgment of the presence of the emotions.

Sizing up the Individual. Emotional intelligence is intangible and can only be observed in situations where individuals recognize their emotions and can use the knowledge to manage their behavior. It, therefore, affects how individuals circumnavigate various complexities, make decisions, and achieve positive results.

Impact of EQ. Emotional intelligence can have an unquantifiable impact on an individual’s career as it affects the energy and direction of focus. According to tests on 34 qualities, emotional intelligence was found to subsume other qualities including communication, decision-making, and time management. It also the foundation of personal excellence, leadership, critical thinking skills and accounts for 58% of workplace performance.

Conclusion. The ability to manage one’s behavior starts from the acknowledgment of emotions that are consequently generated by circumstances. This chapter offers key a key fundamental in emotional intelligence. Emotional hijacking is essentially the reason for poor decision-making in critical situations. The human brain’s rational part can however overcome this by first acknowledging the emotions and managing the behavior that comes after the emotions.

CHAPTER THREE: WHAT EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE LOOKS LIKE

Introduction. Emotional Intelligence is compounded by distinct personal and interpersonal competencies that affect an individual’s acknowledgment of themselves and their surroundings. This chapter describes four skills that make up emotional intelligence.

Self-Awareness. Self-awareness is a foundational and critical skill, especially when reacting to a dilemma situation as it enables an individual to perceive their emotions and tendencies accurately. This competency allows individuals to make sense of their emotions, tolerate discomfort, and allows them to focus. Self-awareness entails analyzing the source of emotion. This can help in identifying the core of a feeling. Individuals with high self-awareness present a remarkable understanding of their abilities, motivations as well as situations and people with the potential of driving them to the edge.

Self-Management. Self-awareness is linked to self-management as the former determines an individual’s perception of their emotions while the latter entails the actions taken. To direct positive behavior, management of the actions or non-actions taken by an individual will depend on their self-management skills. When faced with uncertainties, it is important to practice resistance as well as build tolerance with one’s feelings. Self-management presents itself in momentary situations when an individual puts their temporary needs aside and pursue larger goals.

Social-Awareness. When dealing with people, social awareness skills help an individual in accurately picking up emotions in people and appreciate the situation. These skills enable an individual to understand the thoughts and attitudes of another by staying focused and absorbing critical information. It, therefore, requires proper listening and observation.

Relationship Management. Relationship management borrows from the other three personal and social abilities and helps individuals in understanding their emotions and those of others to handle conflicts and manage successful interactions. It is a critical competence that allows individuals to make deep, quality, and meaningful connections with others including those we are not fond of. When compounded with other emotional intelligence skills, enables individuals to control their anger and frustrations in stressful situations.

Conclusion. Emotional intelligence is not a solitary concept but made up of several skills. This chapter has described four aspects of emotional intelligence and which can be used by individuals to analyze themselves.

CHAPTER FOUR: DIGGING IN: AN ACTION PLAN TO INCREASE YOUR EQ

Introduction. As human beings, were are often faced with rational dilemmas that can be challenging. The presence of strong emotions can change the course of our decision-making approaches and sometimes lead to poor and regrettable decisions. This chapter takes the question of nurturing emotional intelligence by providing a practical action plan.

Digging in. According to neurologists, the brain has the ability to grow and create new connections that affect the speed and efficiency of thought. When practicing emotional intelligence, the traffic between the emotional and rational centers of the brain is usually smooth. New neurons of up to 15,000 connections branch off between the emotional and rational centers of the brain. The more the connections between the two centers the stronger the rational behavior. In order to develop extrinsic emotional intelligent skills, it requires repeated alternative actions that produce positive results.

Action Plan.

1. Conduct an Emotional Intelligence Appraisal test.
2. Select an EQ skill to practice i.e. self-awareness, self-management, and social-awareness or relationship management.
3. Select three strategies to use for the chosen skill.
4. Select an EQ mentor. This must be an individual gifted in the chosen skill. They can offer important feedback and guidance in the curse of the journey.
5. Apply strategies by practicing as much as possible. Be patient, this may take a few months to realize changes.
6. Measure progress through an Emotional Intelligence Appraisal tool for a second time and compare the results with the initial test results before taking the program.

Conclusion. Individuals such as those who make impulsive and regrettable decisions and those born without innate emotional intelligence can improve their abilities. This requires a dedicated approach that is measurable. This chapter primarily offers invaluable guidance on creating an action plan that can be used to improve emotional intelligence by selecting a single skill at a time.

CHAPTER FIVE: SELF-AWARENESS STRATEGIES

Introduction. Self-awareness entails the knowledge and acceptance of one’s feelings and observing any possible reactions from the latter. This chapter offers fifteen strategies for hurting self-awareness.

Self-Awareness Strategies.

1. Stop treating feelings a good or bad – normally, people quantify their emotions and bundle them into tow simple categories of good and bad. This might attract impulsive excitement or self-beating behavior out of emotions we don’t want to feel. Attaching good and bad labels to emotions obstruct an individual from understanding what they really feel. It is important to allow oneself to fully feel their emotions and avoid pilling up. Passing judgment on an emotion also prevents it to run the full course and denies an individual the opportunity to experience the original feeling.
2. Be observant on the ripple effects from your emotions- Emotions such as anger have powerful immediate and future ripple effects. When a manager rants at a junior in front of their colleagues, they will instantly grow fear and tend to play safely while wondering when their time will arrive. Rather than scaring them into productivity, the ripple effect will force them to do only as instructed and will be less likely to take risks to avoid mistakes. This negates the initial intentions of the rant.
3. Lean towards your discomforts – When faced with obstacles, we are often tempted to avoid discomfort. In an effort to build self-awareness, the authors recommend gravitating towards, into, and through the discomforts. Ignoring a feeling reduces an individual’s experience with the emotion and how to use it productively.
4. Physically feel your emotions – Physically feeling your emotions ad changes through heart racing, breathing pattern, and muscle tension can be helpful in emotional awareness. This can be practiced by closing our eyes and thinking of certain events and taking note of the feelings and physical changes triggered by the event.
5. Be observant of what and who triggers your feelings – This is a key self-awareness skill that allows an individual to point out the source of emotional triggers and prepares you while making them less of a surprise. This is key in self-awareness and nurturing relationship management strategies.
6. Be observant of yourself – An objective understanding of one’s triggers and behavior. For example, some people rumble through anger. It is therefore critical to watch out before time and perceive a potentially volatile situation
7. Maintain a journal on your emotions-
8. Don’t let bad moods fool you- Always acknowledge bad moods and remember their impermanence. This will help in steering clear of mistakes that will further pull you down.
9. Do not let good moods fool you- A simple excitement at the announcement of a 70% discount can instantly trigger a chain of wrong decisions including an unreasonable credit card bill. Good moods can be deceptive and trigger a series of bad decisions.
10. Evaluate yourself and your actions- Tracing your reactions back to original emotions can help in keeping track of emotions and their purpose. Rather than being triggers, emotions can act as a clue to things we are not familiar with.
11. Revisit your values- Taking note of your beliefs and core values can be a key step in keeping track of your objective self and maintain focus on yourself.
12. Check yourself – Checking oneself for mood and demeanor is instrumental in projecting a proper image.
13. Identify your emotions in books, music, and movies – This can help in identifying emotional patterns and teach you more about yourself/
14. Seek for feedback – External feedback can be a great complement to the weaknesses of internal image. Opening up for feedback from others is crucial in evaluating and understanding oneself.
15. Assess yourself under stress- Involves taking note of possible stressors and heeding to emotional warnings such as headache or stomach upset which can be a sign of anxiety.

Conclusion. Nurturing self-awareness requires taking note of triggers, the actualization of one’s feelings, and knowing the best approach to take with the knowledge of emotions. This chapter offers strategies in keeping track of one’s feelings and evaluating themselves as well as the environment for emotional triggers.

CHAPTER SIX: SELF-MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES

Introduction. Self-management entails the application of the right action or non-actions in a situation with knowledge of active emotions. This chapter offer strategies on controlling oneself while handling emotions.

Self-Management Strategies.

1. Proper breathing – Proper breathing cycles provide the brain with enough oxygen which helps in maintaining alertness and focus. In stressful situations, focusing on slow and deep breaths can help in calming down and stimulate the rational brain.
2. Evaluating emotions and reason – Creating a list of emotional and rational thoughts during challenging situations can help in clearing the mind and taking note of important emotions while ensuring they don’t take control.
3. Make goals public– helps in motivating oneself by setting a standard or expectations that other people require from you. A third party can be an effective authority to monitor progress by dealing with punishment or doling a reward.
4. Count to Ten – This is a strategy for shifting attention for a short time and give time for relaxation. It acts as a distraction in a frustrating situation by cooling down the limbic system which is often overheating.
5. Sleep On It – Postponing a potentially rash decision for a few hours or an extra week or month can make a difference between success and regrettably poor decisions by giving time for digestion of the alternatives. Practicing patience is a key factor in decision-making as it allows for the recollection of events and keeping things in control.
6. Approach a skilled Self-manager- Consider alternative feedback and guidance from a person with more experience on emotional intelligence than you. Explain to them your goals and be open to criticism as well as tactics on self-management.
7. Laugh and Smile More – Smiling and laughing forces contracts negative emotions as well as lifting up your mood. This is healthy for self-management especially in frustrating and distressing situations.
8. Schedule time for solving problems – Set ample time for evaluating your problems by turning off distractions such as computer and clearly think about them before arriving at a decision.
9. Control Self-Talk – Strong thoughts such as those with yourself are influential in the perception of situations and regulation of emotions. Entertaining negative self-taking can be self-defeating and can trigger a series of negative emotions.
10. Visualize success – Continuously enforcing an image of successfully managing one’s emotions and behaviors can be a crucial approach in nurturing self-management skills. Before going to bed, it is recommended to visualize oneself controlling emotions and managing through a particular situation.
11. Practice sleep hygiene – Getting enough sleep is a crucial approach to reenergizing the brain and maintaining alertness. It is important to avoid sleep deprivers such as caffeine as well as distractors such as phones and computers.
12. Focus on Freedom – Putting less focus on limitations in certain situations can help in regulating negative emotions and maintaining focus and energy on the positive side.
13. Maintain Synchrony – Involves maintaining the right emotions in certain situations by directing one’s attention to the task at hand and away from the emotions.
14. Converse with a neutral party – When in distress, it is possible to get entangled with our own thoughts. Choosing a third party who is not invested in our emotions can open up new perspectives.
15. Learn from everyone – When we are challenged with criticism, it’s possible to get caught up in a defensive. It is advisable to remain flexible and take every opportunity as a learning lesson rather than engaging in a struggle.
16. Creating time for mental re-energization – It requires sacrifice and create time for relaxation and allow blood flow through the body and mind.
17. Accept change – Adjusting the mind to be open to changes even in the most stable areas of life can help in navigating through life and avoid fear, shock, and surprises

Conclusion. This chapter offers seventeen strong strategies that can be applied in nurturing self-management skills and avoid negative responses to emotions.

CHAPTER SEVEN: SOCIAL AWARENESS STRATEGIES

Introduction. Emotional intelligence is often tested in social situations such as the workplace, in the streets and at school when dealing with people. This chapter offers strategies for dealing with people intelligently while managing emotions.

Social Awareness Strategies

1. Greet people by name – Greeting people by name forces you to remembers names and maintain worm connections.
2. Observe body language – Body language such as eye contact, facial expressions, and hand gestures offer more information by providing cues and an individual’s actual feelings.
3. Practice Timing- Ensure you pass the right information at the right time. This requires maintaining focusing on others and the environment.
4. Use back-pointed questions – these are fill-in questions on random matters such as politics or religion that can be used to smoothen an awkward situation while buying time.
5. Avoid taking notes in meetings – contrary to normal practice, it is advisable to focus on others and avoid distractions in hectic notetaking. This allows you to capture critical clues while maintaining tension with the speaker.
6. Plan for social events – creating a plan for an upcoming social gathering can prepare your mind and free up energy to focus on the event. This will reduce last minutes mistakes and allow you to enjoy the event.
7. Practice decluttering – Remove distractions including unnecessary and counterproductive thoughts that may crowd the mind.
8. Live the moment – As much as planning for the future and reevaluation of the past are important, being present is essential in maintaining social awareness. Make a habit of focusing on the present and keeping track of oneself to avoid mental distractions.
9. Take breaks – taking a 15-minute tour and observe the environment while taking notice of moods among the people in the surrounding. While taking the tour, observer new things and avoid assumptions and conclusions
10. Watch EQ in movies – observe how characters interact and the relationship among them. Identify body languages, and how they handle conflicts.
11. Practice listening – reduce distractions by closing the door and turning off electronics when engaging in a conversation. Be attentive to voice cues such as tone, pitch, and speed which can provide important information on feelings and emotions.
12. Observe people – Sit back and obverse social cues and interactions between random individuals or individuals shopping, taking a meal. Such scenarios can be an effective tool in social awareness by analyzing moods and emotions.
13. Understand hidden rules – Listen and watch multiple observations before engaging. Look out for patterns and similarities in how people are treating each other.
14. Test for accuracy – ask questions especially on unspoken issues such as what a person really meant. This is essential to maintain a socially aware message and know what is going on.
15. Wear other people’s shoes – It allows you to experience the feelings and emotions of another individual. This is a critical aspect of social awareness.
16. See the bigger picture – capture the whole picture by inviting both criticism and compliments. This allows an individual to experience honest opinions from other people’s perceptions.
17. Observe moods – observing social cues and moods in a room is essential in deciding the next line of action. The ability to pick the mood in a room and observing the energy will be crucial in noticing areas that need adjustment. For example, a tour guide must be socially aware and observe the mood for safety concerns among their tourist and maneuver to other scenery.

Conclusion. In emotional intelligence, social awareness will determine an individual’s perception of other people and appreciation of social cues such as mood, culture, and attitudes. This chapter offers solid strategies that can guide individuals struggling with poor social skills in nurturing their competency.

CHAPTER EIGHT: RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT STRATEGIES

Introduction.

Relationship Management Strategies.

1. Maintain openness and Curiosity – being open and curious allows and individual to learn new information while the other party will be appreciative of showing interest.
2. Enhance communication – Building and maintaining relationships requires an appropriate communication approach that will produce results while engaging with others.
3. Avoid Mixed Signals – Be consistent in your message including the content, tone, and body language.
4. Maintain etiquette – remember to use courteous language and phrases such as please, I’m sorry, and thank you.
5. Accept feedback well and positively – Though hard, ensure you receive positive and negative feedback positively and make adjustments. This will show how much you value the other party.
6. Work on trust-building trust requires other complementary skills such as social-awareness, reliability, and consistency in communication and behavior.
7. Have an open-door policy – allow for free communication between employees at different levels. This increases accessibility and creates an opportunity for informal conversations that are necessary for building social-awareness.
8. Manage anger – in order to create long-lasting relationships, anger management, and using anger purposely is crucial. For the right purpose, anger can appropriately refresh people’s minds and awaken them to the gravity of a situation.
9. Accept the inevitable – When dealing with a hard individual, it is important to be upfront and meet with them and sharing your preferences. This can be healthy for situations such as shared projects with a frustrating individual.
10. Acknowledge other people’s emotions – pay attention to their feelings as a legitimate channel of showing respect.
11. Compliment other people – Practice giving compliments in a kind and respectful manner to people around you including the workplace.
12. Show genuine care – Whenever you care for an individual, show it in a meaningful way that will impact the relationship.
13. Expound your decisions – Plan your decisions and explain them to those who will be impacted.
14. Make direct and constructive feedback – Constructive feedback maintains relationships by offering alternative perspectives. It is also important to offer solutions in a respectful manner.
15. Align your intention with your impact – observe the situation as well as people and plan your expected end result from interaction.
16. Offer solution statements – Focus on repairing the relationship and let go of the blame.
17. Handle tough conversation – tough conversations such as a staff’s failure to get a promotion requires critical social and relationship skills. Acknowledge in agreement on shared feelings and goals and ask for their perspective. Listen to their perspective without interrupting, and help them in understanding your perspective.

Conclusion. Managing relationships requires skill. This chapter offers various strategies that can be used by professionals and common men to use social awareness to build and maintain relationships.