Discussion on accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Realizing I was the only female on an all boy fencing team is a event that sparked a period of personal growth within myself. I had always obtained a interest in fencing as a child but never had the opportunity to take action in it during childhood. I decided to ask my guidance counselor about sports in school in Freshman year. When she told me the season was over, I was upset. She then proceeded to tell me that there was only a boys fencing team. I immediately asked whether girls were allowed to join, and when she replied yes, I knew that I was going to become a Jamaica High School Fencer.
The next year, Sophomore year. I walked into the fencing room at school and felt all eyes on me. I spoke to coach and asked about joining and when I did, he wore a shocked expression. At that moment, I began to backtrack and doubt myself. I looked around and felt out of place in a room full of males. I snapped myself back into reality and realized that it was too late to chicken out since I really wanted to fence. My interest for fencing supersedes my insecurities. The coach saw that I was determined to join and allowed me to be apart of the team. As I went to the center of the fencing strip and greeted my new teammates, I was met with welcomes and smiles. Immediately, the guys assisted me by helping me learn the basics. I learned to advance and advance lunge back and forth on the strip. Time passed and I attended every single practice. I did not feel like the odd one out because I was treated the same. It was until I went to games, the treatment was noticeably different.
The first game was at Townsend Harris High school. I was excited because I progressed so much for new member who has no previous experience in fencing. Walking into the schools gym, I was the last member on line. I was asked if I was a water girl or if I had a boyfriend on the team. Many sexists remarks made by members on the team continued. I did not respond nor felt that I owed them an explanation. It was when I asked where was the girls locker room, I felt all eyes turn to me. The Townsend Harris coach was shocked and asked a female on the benches to direct me. Walking into the locker room by myself made me feel alone. I felt small and again but worse. When I left the Locker room wearing my attire and lamè, I walked to the bleachers and sat with my teammates. I was reassured and my teammates attempted to cheer me up.
That experience made me feel small at first, but as I looked around was proud at my mental strength of not allowing my gender to dictate my actions of becoming a fencer. I could’ve decided to leave the minute I asked to join the team, I could’ve left after the first practice, and I could’ve left after mistreatment from teammates from Townsend, but I didn’t. I realized the strength I had for continuing to stay on the team and how my interest in the sport overcame the treatment I faced from others. It made me realize that I will continue to be a minority in future aspects of my life and not to let that be a weakness but a strength that will help me carry on and pursue my end goal.