Attending and responding stage
The client must be listened to fully by the counselor, he achieves this through
Active listening like nodding, using phrases like ok, yes, maintain good eye contact and express facial expressions, modulate his voice so that warmth is communicated
Avoid sarcasm and rough tone. The room should enhance attending and responding, i.e. good ventilation, painting cleaning, and arranged chairs. In attending, the culture and gender of the client should be respected. In responding avoid the following responses Judgmental responses i.e. “abortion is murder, aren’t you a Christian”
Evaluative responses i.e. “you did that because you are her father and that you were angry” this will prevent the exploration of feelings. Avoid re-assuring responses i.e. “don’t worry, boys are many, they are not like the disciples of Jesus” Don’t probe, i.e. don’t ask so many questions, it suggests that u have the answer, you are only collecting data. Don’t give solutions, getting a solution is a process and the client gets his/her solution. Avoid talkativeness, feeling the room with words. According to Rodgers, the counselor should listen keenly to respond to the feelings and the context of the client. i.e. “my sister stole my husband and they are now living in Mombasa”. The counselor responds, “Maria, what I hear you say is that you are feeling betrayed because your sister has eloped with your husband”.
Personalizing
It starts with the summary of the feelings and the context of the client i.e., “Jane, what I hear you say is that your father has d died and you don’t have someone to pay your fees, what do all these mean to you?”
The client is given space to struggle with various meanings. The counselor has the work of encouraging the client by putting it nicely for the client, i.e. “Jane it means that you must take time to mourn your father, it also means that you will drop out of school if you don’t get someone to pay your school fees.
The personalizing problem is framed in terms of problem and goal. Personalizing continues until the client gets all the meanings and summary. Personalizing therefore has a summary, meaning, and deficit (that which you are unable to stop doing.
Initiative
During this stage, the client is helped to explore as many solutions as possible. The options must come from the client. He/she is then asked to look at the advantages and disadvantages of each. The best alternative is the chosen for implementation. For example, “Mike, what I hear you say is that you feel angry and frustrated because your roommate plays loud music, it means you have to do something about it, otherwise, you will never sleep or study. Where do we go from here?”
Evaluation
It is the review of the client’s progress towards the goal. The counsellor says, “Last time we agreed that you do the following. How far have you gone? “The counsellor could also make it more personal and make the client say what they agreed without even being asked i.e. the counselor could ask, “Where are we now?” and then stop there. Any positive steps taken towards solving the problem must be recognized and praised. This is called the art of affirmation. Sometimes the client experiences trauma in an attempt to solve a problem, such a client requires responding, personalizing, and initiating skills. For example, Joyce goes to the staffroom for the first time to consult her Math teacher about her poor performance. Instead of getting the desired help, she is quarreled by all the teachers. The counselor will start by saying “Joyce what I hear you say is that you feel frustrated because instead of getting help from Mr. Juma, you were quarreled and humiliated, what does this mean to you. It means that you must get other options to improve your performance in Math. Where, do we go from here?” The client responds, “I can see Mr. Juma after class instead of going to the office or approach the table tennis teacher who also teaches Math.” The client is then given another assignment to be reviewed during the next lesson. It’s advisable to be patient with your client because learning new behavior is not easy during the beginning.
Termination
It’s the most important stage because it is where the counselor consolidates gains made in the counseling. It comes after implementation; that is when the counsellor feels he has achieved growth and has solved the problem. The first step in termination is negotiation, where you explain to the counsellor that you have reached termination. Using a diary, therapy is tapered off that is you skip some weeks to the next session. The counsellor then welcomes the client to review the whole counselling process. For example, he goes through a narration of all that which has taken place and then asks the client, “tell me how the entire counselling process has been of help to you.” The counsellor then goes back to attending and responding. It’s normal for the client to express a sense of loss, this is normal and the counsellor should use responding skills i.e., “Maria, what I hear you say is that you are feeling a sense of loss at the prospect of losing an important counselling relationship with me.” The client is then dismissed with a promise that he should be free to open a counselling prospect with him in future. In the case of referral, the client is introduced to the next counsellor and left to continue. A referral is discussed with a lot of care but with total openness