EFFECTS OF SPOUSAL ABUSE ON CHILDREN
Domestic violence is a universal problem, and it has always been in society since time immemorial. The different spouses may hurt each other physically or emotionally, but the most affected parties are usually the children in the house. The minds of the children are young, and therefore, they will respond to violence differently. Violence at home significantly affects the children both emotionally and physically. The violence has both short term and long term effects on children.
Violence at home affects the health of both the mother and the fetus before and during birth. The mother`s physical trauma and emotional stress can cause the child to be born with little infant birth weight (Camann & Alexander, 2015). Premature births are also common among women who are experiencing violence in their homes. During delivery, there can be excessive bleeding and also fetal death because of the mother`s stress. Spousal abuse can, therefore, be hazardous to both the mother and the child.
Infants cannot express their dissatisfaction verbally; therefore, they resort to other methods of communicating their stress. Violence causes children to have stress, and they show it through excessive crying, which is usually accompanied by screaming, this is a clear sign of stress among children (Naylor, 2013). The child is easily startled by a thing that naturally does not scare children; this is because the child is always in situations that scare him or her. The parent should always pay close attention to their infants and try to understand their language.
Children from violent homes always have a feeling of isolation and vulnerability. The children of such homes are not given attention, no affection, and also no approval from the parents. The parents are not available for the children since both the abuser and the victim involve themselves in other activities and avoid the child altogether. As a result, the children become emotionally, physically, and psychologically abandoned by their parents. Such isolation makes the children vulnerable to other outside factors.
Violence at home makes the children have conflicting feelings towards the two parents. The children are forced by circumstance to choose one parent and show their affection to that parent. Children develop distrust towards the parent who is the abuser; they fear that particular parent and always try to avoid them. The children feel sorry towards the victim and are still overprotective towards that parent. Children should not be in situations where they have to choose sides in a home.
Young children living in an abusive home always live with anxiety. The children forever live in fear that they might get an injury during physical confrontations between the parents. The children are always worried that one of the parents might get an injury during the frequent physical altercations (Fisher, 2017). Having worries may be due to previous experiences where either the child or one parent got an injury. Some children might even blame themselves for the violence that is at home; therefore, causing further psychological problems. The children in such homes do not have peace of mind.
Small children from homes that experience domestic violence are prone to having excessive anger more than those from ordinary homes. Even in situations that do not call for it, they always show aggression more than other children (Leavitt & Fox, 2017). Children can sometimes direct their anger towards the abuser for terrorizing the victim and maltreating him or her. The children may also direct their anger towards the victims for allowing the abuser to cause havoc at home. The young children may not be able to understand the situation, and therefore, they may interpret violence differently.
Domestic violence at home leads the children to develop unacceptable behaviors in society. Children may resort to bullying others to try and hide from the reality of life. They may also intimidate others because they see violence as acceptable and want to practice it on other children (Geffner, 2017). Children who have violent parents always restrict their social life thus have trouble making new friends. Children who show tendencies of bullying others when young are the same ones who have a problem with authority when they grow up. Behaviors of bullying are mostly among boys.
Spousal abuse causes children and parents to reverse roles. Parents use their children as their therapists and confidant regarding family issues and how the violence is at home. The children are, therefore, forced to mature faster than other children from typical homes since they take up responsibilities that are for grown-ups. The older children are forced to take care of their siblings since the parents may not be able to take good care of them; thus, they act as parents. The children who experience reverse role situations tend to become a perfectionist in their adult life because of placing high expectations on them. Reversing roles is a long term effect of domestic violence.
Teens who live in violent homes tend to have a lot of secretive behaviors. The children are not proud of their home and will do anything to avoid being at home. The children do not invite their friends over at their house, and even when their friends visit, they do not keep them for long in the house. For free time, children always like spending that time away from home. The older children in the house go to the extent of keeping secrets from the younger ones about the violence that is taking place at home. The children, therefore, lose touch with other people.
Violence at home can easily lead teenagers to take drugs which will affect their health. The children will always try to escape from reality, which they view to be wrong and unwanted. Therefore they try to get a quick fix for themselves; the `quick fix` is almost always drugs (Fisher, 2017). In most cases, the abuser is always a drug addict, and therefore, the children may copy that behavior thinking that it gives them power. The first role models for children is always their parents, and consequently, they might replicate the parent who seems to have power, and mostly they might draw inspiration from the abuser.
Violence at home affects the academic performance of a child in a negative way. Children from violent homes tend to perform below their potential due to the problems they are experiencing at home. The children experience a lot of stress which weighs heavily on their young minds therefore affecting how they retain content taught in class and their concentration level (Fisher, 2017). Children from violent homes do not have enough sleep; they therefore resort to sleeping in class since it is a peaceful place to be. Children are always more worried about their environment when they are at home, so they do not study.
Children living with violent parents are more likely to have physical injuries than children from ordinary families. The children can easily be caught in the crossfire between the parents therefore getting injured in the process. Studies have shown that the abuser rarely stops when they see a child coming in to try and help the victim; they actually continue and even attack the child. The children are more likely to be abused in such situations; this is because they are always less powerful than the abuser. Violence therefore puts children in high risks.
Violence makes children have a negative and distorted view of marriage. Violence at home affects children gradually, and in the long term without even knowing, the child develops the wrong image of marriage (Geffner et al., 2014). The children view marriage as a violent union, and therefore, they do not get married themselves, or sometimes one is even afraid to fall into relationships. The post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) of violence last a very long time for children and may sometime also be with such children until they die. The children view marriage as a stressful union that takes away peace of mind.
Growing up in violent homes may lead the children to replicate the behavior in their adult life and their homes. Children from violent homes tend to be more violent than others who grew up in typical homes; this is because they try to copy what they saw happening in their homes (Salkin, 2014). Exposing children to violence in their younger ages is also more likely to involve them in crimes, due to their unstable upbringing. Such children view domestic violence as a normal part of life which should not be corrected.
Domestic violence during a child`s upbringing causes them to have psychological distortions. The mental distortions are usually irreversible and long term. Children are generally introverted, and they rarely socialize with others, this may cause the people around them to start ridiculing them (Fitzgerald et al., 2011). Being teased by others causes children to go into a depression since their young minds may not be able to understand well how the violence is affecting them. Placing importance on ensuring that the mental health of children is well taken care of by the guardian or parents.
Children that have experienced violence do not develop the proper problem solving skills. The children make poor decisions in their lives and view life differently unless they are guided appropriately by another person (Fitzgerald et al., 2011). Upon becoming adults, the children that view violence as a method of solving disputes in society. The children accept violence as a way of life, and they either become the abuser in a relationship, or they condone such behavior when others abuse them. The children should be guided appropriately to ensure that they develop the right decision-making skills.
Being in a violent environment exposes the children to more children abuse problems. The abuser in most cases abuses children and the victim, for example a father who beats up his wife and takes drugs is very likely to molest a small child. The child is usually not protected from the different dangers that are around him or her (Geffner et al., 2014). In most cases, the abuser often abuses the child more than once, and this, therefore, always remains in the mind of the child. The child becomes the primary victim of violence.
Domestic violence at home exposes children to physical health problems. The children do not necessarily need to be hurt on their body for them to show the effects of domestic violence physically. The psychological effects causes a child to bring out physically the effects of violence at home (Fisher 2017). Children may experience general aches such as headaches and stomach aches; other children may also be irritable and experience irregular bowel movement; all associated with depressive disorder. Also, bedwetting is common among children who are experiencing violence. Domestic violence is therefore a contributor to children sickness.
Rising cases of violence are significantly contributing to the rise in mental health problems among children who are having exposure to it. Children are experiencing emotional problems such as; low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, mood swings and lower levels of social skills (Fisher, 2017). The children may not realize the extent of how their mental health has been deteriorating since there is no specific way to test mental health unless one visits a doctor. Mental health is essential since it primarily determines how someone is going to function. The guardians should always pay attention to their children and ensure their mental health is okay.
Young adults who are experiencing domestic violence in their homes tend to lack a feeling of safety. The children are always paranoid about others and are very hard to trust others due to their past experiences (Leavitt & Fox, 2014). The teens are very paranoid even in situations that do not require one to be that much paranoid. Such teens are always on guard even in cases that are safe or do not need one to be so insecure. The behavior is usually because of the experiences that one gets at home. The teens should always be assured of their security by the other people present.
The children who live in an abusive home have the problem of not having a proper role model to look up to for guidance. The parents are the most immediate role models for their children, in the case where the parents are not what the child associate good behavior with, the child is lost (Salkins, 2014). The children may try to imitate the one parent who looks like he or she has strength; in most cases, they usually mirror the abuser who looks stronger. The children look down on the victim who appears to be weak and therefore, they treat him or her with disregard and disrespect. Lack of role models can be disastrous to the children in violent homes.
Living in a violent environment can cause children to have suicidal thoughts. The children may easily be depressed due to the situation at home. Young minds may not be able to handle the pressure and stigma that is directed towards the family by the community (Marcovitz, 2014). The children may also face ridicule from their peers in school, which will weigh heavily in the hearts of the children. The parents also neglect the children, and they do not take care of the emotional needs of their children, this may lead the children to take the easy way out and escape the immediate problem.
Domestic violence has substantial effects on the children and by extension, the future adults in society. The impact of domestic violence are long lasting, and if not corrected early enough, cannot be reversed. Parents should protect their children from the effects of domestic violence by ensuring that the children do not see any of their fights or the aftermath or by getting a better way of solving disputes.
References
Camann, W., & Alexander, K. (2015). Easy labor: Every woman’s guide to choosing less pain and more joy during childbirth. New York: Ballantine Books.
Fisher, W. H., (2017). Research on community-based mental health services for children and adolescents. Bingley: Emerald Group Publishing Limited.
Fitzgerald, H. E., Puura, K. M. D., Tomlinson, M., & Paul, C. (2011). International Perspectives on Children and Mental Health. Santa Barbara: ABC-CLIO.
Geffner, R., Spurling, I. R., & Zellner, J. (2014). The Effects of Intimate Partner Violence on Children. Hoboken: Taylor and Francis.
Leavitt, L. A., & Fox, N. A. (2014). The Psychological Effects of War and Violence on Children. Hoboken: Taylor and Francis.
Marcovitz, H. (2014). Teens and suicide.
Naylor, B. T., (2013). Depression in children. New York: Nova Science Publishers.
Salkin, J. K., (2014). Righteous Gentiles in the Hebrew Bible: Ancient role models for sacred relationships. Woodstock, Vt: Jewish Lights Pub.