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FRIEND WHO WON’T LEAVE

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FRIEND WHO WON’T LEAVE

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There is a saying that goes; fish, like house guests, start to stink after three days. But with the economic hardships the world is facing today, family and friends tend to ignore boundaries when they visit by choosing to overstay (Cave, Brown and Baldacchino, 2012). A gracious host is one who opens his or her arms to friends and family. But how long is too long to let someone stay over at your place? Setting boundaries can become a challenge especially if someone is a people-pleaser or they like being hospitable. But failing to set boundaries or being upfront is what will get you in trouble.

If I were in this situation, a kind reminder would be the best solution to have my friend out the door. Ideally, guests or visitors should stay under a week. Surpassing that would start to eat into my normal life and getting things done or getting some privacy would be a challenge. Therefore, I would have a conversation with my friend and be upfront about how long I make my house available to guests. I would set boundaries or rules that must be obeyed. I would kindly remind her to keep my living room in order by cleaning it regularly and keeping her clothes and shoes in an organized manner to avoid making a mess.

I believe communication is a solution to many problems. Letting my friend know in advance how long I would be able to entertain them would be a priority. Conveying information beforehand prevents misunderstandings or spoiling relations with friends and family, so being upfront and clear is a good decision. I may say, “I’m sure we will have a great time during your one-week stay with me.” I would also provide hints or thank her for visiting to indicate that it is about time she left or wrapped up her visit.

I would be open with my guest by candidly expressing how I feel about her behavior. Of course,, I would appreciate any help she offers but also address her annoying behavior with the same frankness. I believe being open would send a message across that I do not or will not tolerate what she does. I would invite her to help me with chores or assign her tasks. This will send a message that her visit is not for relaxation or leisure. She might as a result want to move out in search of a more comfortable living situation. I would ensure that the tasks assigned to her are backbreaking to push her to search for other living options.

Another step I would take in such a situation if she was rigid would be to lie that some guests are en route and I promise to spend some time with them, which would be a challenge with her around because there is not enough room to accommodate all of us. That would hopefully make her realize that it is high time she finds a place to stay. Lastly, I would help her find a job to get on her feet and find her own place.

In conclusion, being hospitable is a good thing. However, when you give too much, people often take advantage of the goodness. Learning to say no is important. It is wise to be upfront by setting rules or boundaries and making sure they are obeyed. Communication is the key to avoiding guests who overstay their visit. There is a saying that goes, the first day a man is a guest, the second a burden, the third a pest.

Bibliography

Cave, J., Brown, K.G. and Baldacchino, G., 2012. Come visit, but don’t overstay: critiquing a welcoming society. International Journal of Culture, Tourism and Hospitality Research.

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