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Life, not certain, can also be termed as unpredictable. It is expected to have lots of surprises, especially for parents who are new in that sector, and much harder especially when there is no assistance from anyone. In “Tim Gunn and a Leaky shower: Welcome to my life little guy” by Maggie Downs, where her being a first-time mom has to deal with personal household problems, just a week into her son Everest’s birth. Among the challenges she faced was a faulty and leaky shower that needed urgent repair. Everest could not be raised in a house with damages since the shower was connected to her mum’s bedroom, therefore, the repair was necessary. This story is set to show the brawls that many new moms encounter in their daily motherhood journey. As a newbie, Maggie experienced many unforeseen challenges that she had to beat to survive.
Maggie lacked both emotional and physical support, a challenge that she had to endure and survive. However, at this point, I have to differ with the author. As much as Maggie acted strong and handled everything amicably, she still needed that support system. As much as she did not voice this out, I believe the failure of receiving this kind of support drained her, and this trickled down to the baby. My point of concern is Everest who at this point is at stake because if Maggie does not get the support she needs, she is one day bound to break down which in turn will affect both her and the son. To add, who does not need support? We all need support regardless of our emotions and mental state.
From the article, we can tell her husband was always unavailable due to work. It is harder for a first-time mom to juggle in between the baby and herself without physical and mental aid from the partner. I can relate to Maggie’s state in the story because I was once in her place, back when I was a first-time dad. As my wife was on maternity leave, I was busy at work. I could not support her physically, but at least I did mentally. I had no choice because I had to work to provide for them both. Through work, I managed to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. To me, not having external aid from friends and family being a reason for emotional trigger is not appalling at all. Maggie at least had online friends and not physical, who mostly communicated with her via the internet instead of visiting her physically. As much as her friends checked up on her through the internet, I still insist it was not enough.
Focusing on the brighter side, they however e-mailed her tips on how to take care of a newborn baby, but none of them seemed to help her out. In this case, I can concur with the author in that as much as her friends could not avail themselves physically, at least they tried. Sadly, that cannot still beat the feeling of love and support a new mom experiences when her folks or friends visit and give a hand in taking care of the baby or even doing house chores. Luckily for us, we had buddies that adored and loved our kids. Anytime my wife and I needed rest in between babysitting, they would always willingly watch them for the day.
Another problem that threatened Maggie’s peace was her mental health. In our case, it is evident that her mental health was not at per. As we all know, a human being’s mental state is very delicate, therefore it needs constant attention and concern. In the article, the new mom was not getting enough sleep due to the newborn baby. Her efforts to swaddle and soothe him to sleep failed. This is however expected because we all know or have experienced raising a baby, especially when they are still at that tender and delicate stage. It is almost impossible to get rest and sleep when you have a cranky and fussy baby who cries a lot. This situation further escalates when the mom has no support from her partner.
I recall when we had our firstborn Asher King. Asher would wail and cry almost the whole day. The sound of him crying drove me nuts. As time passed, we came up with certain methods to help soothe him. The methods mentally assisted us since we were finally able to get some rest. For Maggie, it was quite an uphill task to put baby Everest to sleep. She resided in a place that was experiencing summer. With summer, heat and high temperatures were expected. They rose hitting as high as ranging from 105 to 115 degrees. Living in that kind of environment made it uncomfortable for both her and Everest. The baby became more irritable and cranky due to excess heat. As much as her house had fans and an air conditioner, it was as good as non-existent.
Having undergone an unplanned C-section, Maggie had restricted movement. She therefore could not leave the house even if she wanted in search of a cooler spot. Having nothing more constructive to do apart from watching her baby, she binge-watched in a bid to avoid self-pity. In the process of binge-watching, she came across Tim Gunn. Tim Gunn was an inspiration to many and as she listens to him, she concluded that she also needed an inspiration. At this juncture, in my opinion, she deserved a helping hand. A nanny would have come in handy since the husband was hardly present. With the nanny being available, at least she would have time for herself and probably go to the hospital to get her wound cleaned and dressed. Maggie could also self-distractions by doing random drives just to have a breather. Moving out into a relative’s or friend’s place was also an option though it would be complicated with a baby in the equation. I tend to believe that could be a temporary measure till her place became secure and the heat subsided.
External disturbances were her biggest shortcoming. She experienced a leaky shower that needed to be repaired. This pushed the landlord to hire a construction company that sent its crew to fix the problem. She hired the construction company based on cost, therefore, hired the cheapest one. The construction was obviously loud which meant no quiet environment for the baby to sleep, thus giving her a hard time putting Everest to sleep. Construction affected her in that the dirt and debris emitted from that process, triggered her asthma causing attacks. The construction usually kicked off at 6:00 am and ended late in the night. Her online friends’ recommendation of “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” (Downs, 2015) proved futile with all the scuffling and up and down movements from the workers. To make matters worse, upon completion, the constructors had done a shoddy job. I can recall being in such a fixed spot. My kitchen needed repair. Fast forward to the construction, I booked my family a hotel to stay in during that process. My priority was to ensure that the loud noises and debris posed no danger for them. I also wanted them to get enough sleep and rest.
To conclude, life is unpredictable. As a person, you are prone to run into a lot of unplanned and unwanted situations. Tim Gunn said, “let’s make it work.” In my opinion or understanding, Tim kinder meant whatever life throws at us we should accept, adjust, and if its something immune to change, we can as well learn how to cope with it. (Downs, 2015) Being a parent for the first time is not easy for everybody. At times, one is usually over it especially when doing it alone with no support, hence needing breaks in between. Outdoor activities such as walks or casual drives are known to be good stress relievers. There are times you can be super stressed out, it’s always good to take breaks to help calm you down. Maggie Down’s article displayed how being a first-time parent is not a walk in the park.
References
Downs, M. (2015, January 05). Everything I needed to know about parenting, I learned from Project Runway. Retrieved July 12, 2020, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2015/01/05/everything-i-needed-to-know-about-parenting-i-learned-from-project-runway/
Finn, H. (2019, March 27). Here’s the REAL Reason Tim Gunn Is No Longer on ‘Project Runway’. Retrieved July 12, 2020, from https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/entertainment/a26824655/where-is-tim-gunn-project-runway/