The Psychology of Home
The concept of a home is one of the most exciting subjects in terms of psychological meaning. From expressions like home is where the heart is to home is where you hang your hat. The concept of home is well just beyond the idea of a physical structure. Since earlier times, philosophers such as Socrates made the definition of home a vital subject to him; after all, wasn’t he the one who preferred death over exile(Spence). By reflecting on the concepts of home, one can better define the meaning of home. Before continuing, first, we must understand the difference between a house and a home. A house, despite quite literally having physical walls does not guarantee its homeliness (Doyle). A home, on the other hand, is a place where one feels that they belong. So quite literally, a house may not be home.
Over the years, I have always contemplated the meaning of home, in my opinion. There are many theories I have come with, such as; home is where you don’t have a reason to be, home is where we feel safe. The sense of being home can come from many sources. It may be where one goes to after a lengthy day at work, and it may be where you grew up or your ancestry. However, I have come to view a home as a place where there is love. Love is what binds us as human beings. Where there is love, there is security. Love is what inspires us to do good and know that there is also good out there and hence makes us feel at home anywhere in the world. When there is love around us, we become enshrined in the sense of security well beyond the physical walls of the house. The home has grown increasingly definitive with the concept of homeless people around us, refugees, immigrants, and victims of natural disasters (Fox). He invokes questions on whether this group will ever experience the concept of a home once again if they ever had one, or they will never have the emotional association of a home (Fox). These are some of the instances in which our knowledge of home is put to the test. Because most of the time it is as a result of a circumstance beyond their control that they lack a home.
There is also a common term in which people say “there is no place like home.” This idea encompasses the idea that wherever it is, there is something there that always attracts us. In my view, this thing is love. Home gives us a sense of identity. But most people feel that they identify with people who they love and feel loved back. Because what else would you call home, if not a place to seek shelter from the storms of life. If you are considering a home definition to the current young generation, one would have to consider new trends such as Airbnb. Such platforms have widened the definition of a home(Leadbeater). On the one hand, you have an individual who is giving out their house to another person that they do not know. On the other hand, you have a client who has come to live at a particular time, be it for a short period. In such a scenario, one would consider what the physical house means to them. Is it just a place for shelter or what? The owner bears no attachment to the place, and the client may not have the time to build an emotional connection to the place and the people around it (Doyle). This introduces another definition of home as merely a place of shelter.
One other argument is that the internet has redefined the concept of home (Krotoski). The truth is, most of the time, when we are together even in our physical houses, we find ourselves very much connected to the outside walls and the rest of the world than the very people who are with us in the house. Social media has connected us so much that one can be physically in the house, but mentally elsewhere(Krotoski).. This makes us detached from our families, and therefore one cannot consider that situation a home. If people are physically present but emotionally connected to other individuals, it becomes less of a home and more of a house where the people seek shelter. The concept of neighborhood fell apart once planned developments joined the community (Krotoski). All this sense of detachment compromises the foundation of a home, which is love. This should, however, not be misinterpreted; there is no love in the house as a result of the internet, sometimes people still maintain their sense of togetherness even though they are not emotionally together in the room.
The aspect of love in a home stretches beyond the confines of harmony. In a home where there is no cohesion or love between members, there is little or no affection towards each other. This lack of affection breeds conflicts towards each other, thereby breaking the hierarchy in the family. Such scenarios can be interpreted as not being a homely place. There are a lot of situations that cause there to lack love among family members. As mentioned, the emergence of the internet has caused detachment emotionally from each other. This may be the start of problems in the home. As we have come to see, a home is not just a physical space that we have occupied, but an extension of our emotion as well. Whether it is a place such as a coffee house where you go to meet with family and friends once in a while to catch up on each other, or whether it is the house where the family gathers at the end of the day to shelter and talk to each other about their day’s experience, the most important ingredient is love. A saying that best sums up this concept is “it takes hands to build a house, but it takes love to build a home”.
References
Krotoski, Aleks. “Home: How the Internet Has Changed Our Concept of What Home Is.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 1 Oct. 2011, www.theguardian.com/technology/2011/oct/02/aleks-krotoski-untangling-web-home.
Fox, Michael Allen. “Why Is Home so Important to Us?” OUPblog, 23 Dec. 2016, blog.oup.com/2016/12/home-place-environment/.
Doyle, Kenneth O. “The symbolic meaning of house and home: An exploration in the psychology of goods.” American Behavioral Scientist 35.6 (1992): 790-802
Leadbeater, Charles. “Why There’s No Place like Home – for Anyone, Any More – Charles Leadbeater: Aeon Essays.” Aeon, Aeon, 10 Feb. 2020, aeon.co/essays/why-theres-no-place-like-home-for-anyone-any-more.
Spence, Edward H. “The Philosophy of Home.” NEOS KOSMOS, 3 Mar. 2018, neoskosmos.com/en/6972/phillosophy-home-edward-h-spence-opinion/.