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Critiquing the responses (Asthma, weight loss, and birth control case study)

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Critiquing the responses (Asthma, weight loss, and birth control case study)

Response 1

In the first response, the student skips an integral part of any essay, which is the introduction. The paper would have been a better piece of work if the student began with an eye-catching thesis statement. However, he did well in answering three of the questions. Interestingly, his response to the medication recommendations was well researched and compiled. He comprehensively addresses all the requirements of the patient by prescribing the right medication and dosage. For instance, he recommends formoterol, which is the best medicine to prevent and control asthma symptoms.

Nonetheless, he fails to recognize the fact that the dosage does not treat asthma attacks. If I could add to the recommendations, a rescue inhaler would be the best remedy for sudden asthma attacks (Ramsey, et al., 2019). Secondly, the essay is not well punctuated. It lacks accuracy in the correct usage of punctuations marks such as commas and full stops. A good example is the first paragraph which is poorly punctuated with exceedingly long sentences.

Response 2

I precisely like the second response as the student begins his essay with an appealing introduction and an academic level of grammar. Also, his work is well punctuated and labeled with the use of subheadings that guide the reader through the main topics addressed. He also does well in prescribing the right medications for the patient, going the extra mile of recommending alternatives in case of severe side effects. Additionally, he comprehensively answers all the questions as per the instructions. Unlike the first student, the second response addresses the issue of patient education. I agree with him that sex education on safe intercourse practices is better than the use of contraceptives in birth control (Hall, Sales, Komro, & Santelli, 2016). However, the student would have included more in-text citations to his work, especially in his opening statements. For instance, he should have included a reference in his thesis statement in the eighth paragraph, where he lists down the side effects of Neplanons.

 

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