Loss and Grief in Relation to Age
Grief is the emotional, social and bodily response to loss. The experiences that lead to grief are tied to thoughts, behaviour, attitude, general health and other social changes. Grief is personal in that it is mainly based on how we identify with loss, meaning that two people subjected to the same loss will grief differently. There is no fixed time or range of stages to get over the grief, and it may take days, months, or years for a given individual to get over grief after losing someone or something precious to them. Loss is followed by a collection of feelings. These feelings include anger, loneliness, helplessness, uncontrolled tears, copying and eventually laughter. Loss can also be characterized as a significant loss of dreams. Abandoning dreams creates a vacuum in a person’s life. There are other losses apart from death that is associated with transitions in life. These losses have devastating impacts in aged people and could make them sink into grief and depression. The losses include losing status after retirement or unemployment, relocation, decrease in the network after losing a partner, health issues and the loss of memory.
Generally, these losses affect an individual’s identity and interactions with other people. Relocation is a substantial loss that leads to grief. The places people call home defines a sense of space and their attachment to their space. Older adults have secure attachments to their homes and want always to have a space they can associate with regardless of the stages in their lives. Losing a home can make the elderly to be psychologically affected and reduces their ability to handle secondary losses associated with a residential relocation. Moving to a retirement facility that is near their children makes the elderly to feel dependable on their children, which is what many avoid. The grief associated with moving to a retirement facility is also experienced by those that move to the facility voluntarily. Their perception of a positive transition may eventually feel like a misguided decision leading to feelings of disorientation and distress. This may be caused by, changes in daily routine, possessions, and changes in a physical location. These changes lead to insecurities, lack of control over their lives, disconnection with their memories and may eventually lose their sense of belonging and identity.
It is important to note that the majority of older adults who relocate eventually and gradually adjust to the new environments with the benefits of moving to outweigh the losses. Moving can also be forced and can be as a result of chronic illnesses, decrease in income, and usually results in fear and a reduction in self-value. Most elders perceive placement in a nursing home as a punishment and may result in depression and deterioration in health. This usually happens when they are not consulted while deciding on moving them to a nursing facility. Families should ensure that they involve the elderly during the planning of the transition and create an account of the experiences they will encounter in the nursing facilities. Where the elders are placed in these facilities against their wishes, they experience losses and develop feelings of guilt. They perceive themselves as failures and may develop ill feelings towards their relatives. The staff in the nursing facilities should help grieving elders by acknowledging their guilt and involving them in the decisions regarding their lives in the facility.
Death of Partner in Relation to Age
The death of a spouse is the most devastating loss an individual can encounter regardless of the age. This is because it comes with multiple losses associated with a shared past, and anticipated future of growing old together, travelling and recounting of a well-lived life together. The closer the partners are to each other, the higher the distress when one of them dies. Older windows are much affected when the death of their spouse occurs since they have a relationship that has outgrown the test of time. This causes the older people to be susceptible to diseases due to their reduced immunities, and their immune systems are weakened as a result of hormonal responses to the stress of loss. The elderly are subjected to symptoms of depression and anxiety. There are dramatic changes in their moods, disturbing thoughts of the deceased, disorientation, memory loss, and concentration difficulties. These changes are more considerable in older people than in newly wedded individuals. However, despite the stresses associate with losing a spouse, widows are resilient and can concentrate on the positive over time. Females are worse off than males in terms of finances, legal problems, and prospects for remarriage.
Women who are financially dependent on their husbands experience a drastic decline in their incomes. Men are tougher at emotionally adjusting to widowhood than women and suffer immensely after the death of their wives. They find it hard to talk about their deceased wives and struggle with self-identity resulting in reduced ability to build new networks. Men express grief through action, and few words and emotions characterize their grieving pattern. This type of grieving is usually not regarded as grief. It is not very clear whether grief is intense in older or younger people. Young widows tend to have intense grief, but on the other hand, older widows have prolonged periods of grief as a result of the termination of a lifelong relationship. Older windows may also experience other losses, usually referred to as bereavement overload thus prolonging grief. Another factor that intensifies loss among older widowed individuals is the minimization of the partners’ death. Such sentiments are not helpful to the older widows who are trying to redefine their lives after a range of losses. In the case of same-sex marriages, they may become public after the death of the spouse, thus dealing with both grief and their family’s reaction to their sexual orientation. These may make the older widows cope alone with mourning and feelings of uncertainty, isolation, and guilt.
The best way to deal with grief resulting in the death of a partner is to allow the person to have a full range of their emotions and avoid mentioning the name of the deceased. The grieving person should not be reminded of the fond memories of their deceased partners. Patients should be employed while dealing with the widowed individuals since grief may take a long period before it loses its grip on the individual. Grieving takes time and is a natural process; thus, the grieving person must be given time and the appropriate care throughout the process. When grieving is extended for more than one year, the person should be taken to a health provider who will guide them through the healing process and help them to accept the loss. After the death of a partner in older adults, the children and relatives of the widow should ensure that they are close to them widowed person so that they won’t sink into depression and lack of self-value.