the use of transitional words
I like the use of transitional words, especially when starting new paragraphs and constructing new sentences. They will help the reader to move from one idea to the next. They aid and assist the reader in establishing a connection or a link between the conveyed ideas. The structure is right from the start to the end. Arrangement of Paragraphs is more logical with introduction, body, and conclusion.
However, a few changes that need attention.
The phrase “not so pleasant aromas” may be wordy. I will consider changing the wording. Using a long-phrase when a shorter one (or even a single word) will suffice can contribute to wordiness or vagueness. Through a sentence may be grammatically correct, writing more concisely is often a better choice. Therefore, I will consider the use of a hyphen to join words. I will consider changing it to “not-so-pleasant aroma.”
.Some sentences are unclear or hard to follow. For instance, in the second last paragraph, the sentence “A seriously soiled floor may need some extra scrubbing with scouring pad and cleanser before weekly sweep and mop type cleaning can occur.” This sentence has unnecessary words that may force a reader to work harder to understand what the writer means. Cutting extra words, tightening up awkward phrasing, and making sure the sentence is not too long are good ways to make writing clear. Therefore, I will consider rephrasing my sentence; “A seriously soiled floor may need extra scrubbing with a scouring pad and cleanser before weekly sweep and mop cleaning.”
I would suggest the writer revise wordy sentences because it is difficult to understand. I would request the writer keep sentences to a maximum of two or three clauses (or segments). Lastly, I would also suggest the writer avoid repeating words such as “next” in the paper.
I would give the writer 88% because the paper is well constructed. Just a few grammatical require revision.