Evaluation One
Issue
You addressed obesity as a general health issue, and I agree with you that it is a problem currently pressing population in nations such as the US. Obesity is a complex health problem that results from a combination of causes and personal factors like behavior or genes. Example of these behaviors includes lack of physical exercise or inactivity, dietary problem, medication use or other exposures. After defining the issue- Obesity, the primary root of the problem ought to have been mentioned briefly before delving deep in the next paragraphs. What the paper has missed disclosing is the level of obesity as per the current situation, and this can be obtained from databases with recent details. For example, reports from the center of disease prevention and control (CDC) show that the US obesity rate has gone up to 40%.
Importance
Information conveyed in this section is very informative, especially the part you have explained how body mass index is the determinant factor. However, the organization of work is an issue. What the introduction need is a good structure, starting by definition of the problem and outline how the rest part of the information will flow. Otherwise, it appears hard to make follow up or connect ideas. The good thing is that statistical figures are well outlined but should be supported with relevant sources. Also, attention to the choice of data should be paid by considering the most recent information.
Evolved
The last part of the work asserts how obesity has spanned across various racial or ethnic groups and concluded by stating that the issue needs attention. You might want to add what potential steps at government, healthcare system, or individual level ought to be taken to address the problem. Generally, the work is informative on how the issue has spread.
Evaluation Two
Issue
First, the problem is well defined, whereby you have indicated that HIV is an infectious illness that attacks immune cells so the body. Along with this, you might want to add or point out the population at risk, people most affected and the present situation in a specific state like the US. Also, since the first time the nation became aware of the illness, how has been the numbers of infections and the proactive effort to address the problem? Also, consider not being general when defining the problem. I strongly suggest the first part of the work to point out the direction on what will be studied and avoid the use of value-laden terms or words.
Importance
On this section, you have clearly mentioned the mode or means through which the health issue spread. The information is relevant because it informs how the disease is prevalent and critical in passing from one person to another. After mentioning population at risk, perhaps it would be essential to tell pro-active efforts in place, designed or to be implemented to address the issue. In that way, there will be an insight into how the problem is managed. Also, if there are measure sin places already, such as counseling or sex education, it is good to mention how they are effective.
Evolution
The last section talks about the evolution of the issue. As such, there should be information about the history of illness, spread rate and this need to be backed up by research work. The section should include how the earliest cases of the diseases in blood samples were discovered and what was the estimate of infection. Generally, the work is well organization convey an idea of the issue discussed.