Homework #4: Listening
Response 1:
After taking the Shafir’s Self-Listening test, my score is 18.5. The interpretation of these results indicates that I can easily acquire the various important and main ideas provided; however, due to challenges in maintaining attention, I might fail in absorbing the rest of the information. This is caused primarily by my detachment from the speaker and engaging my mind in other aspects, such as thoughts on the next statement I might provide.
I agree with this interpretation because I find myself occupied with other things while listening. For instance, I sometimes tend to think of my next answer or statement when a speaker is talking. Additionally, when the speaker provides information that I am not in agreement or interested in, I can sometimes time them out. Subsequently, when a speaker is talking, I sometimes take note of the important details, and also, ask questions on various terms or jargon that I find unfamiliar, from their statement. Hence, when a speaker is communicating, the need to acquire any knowledge from them, as well as the other significant attention taking elements I possess, are the basis on which I agree with the interpretation.
Response 2.
When listening, I believe some of my most predominant bad habits stem from presenting a good listening appearance. At the same time, I am not entirely interested; also, pseudo-listening and my habit of sometimes letting the speaker’s presentation and mannerisms detract me from paying attention as they talk. These habits have presented themselves during various interpersonal conservations, as well as with other speakers. However, the most memorable were presented during conversations as a teenager, where I felt that some arguments with my parents on my conduct were misplaced. I tended to portray the appearance of listening while, in reality, I was not.
For instance, when I was in high school, I engaged in a fight with a fellow student and was sent to the school’s counselor. While there, the counselor intended to provide me with information on the vices of engaging in fights. However, I did not pay attention to his advice, since I felt that his counsel was misplaced, and should have been focused on the other student since he was to blame. I also let my mind wander off into observing his physical appearance. I thought he was not well-equipped to discuss the issue with me since he was a middle-aged man and would not understand my reasons for fighting.
Looking back at the instance, I believe my habit was terrible because I let my attitude get the better of me. Not paying attention to a person can sometimes make them feel that they are not helping or providing important information. Additionally, it shows a lack of respect and poor listening skills.
Response 3:
As a listener, my strengths include the ability to keep eye contact with the speaker, the desire to learn something from every conversation I engage in, and listening for meaning in a statement. Also, through observing gestures and facial expressions, asking questions on the meaning of words or terms that I find unfamiliar and not judging the speaker. These abilities during listening allow me to engage in interpersonal conversations with those I interact with on different occasions. For instance, during my conversations with friends, I find myself, keeping eye contact, and asking various questions to ensure that I understand them. Through these strengths, I am regarded as a good listener, and therefore, I find some close friends easily sharing their issues with me because they know I will listen to them without judging.
Response 4:
From this exercise and the course in general, I learned that listening is a positive skill that ignites and improves communication between people. When listening, a person must take note of the important details that require addressing in their answer or statement. Also, I discovered that listening engages people in efficiently communicating or talking to you. When a person listens keenly, without judging, other people find it easy to talk to them, and even share their experiences or issues. Also, I believe that listening involves mindful listening, and in interpersonal relationships, this aspect is essential. For instance, it is crucial when a person is sharing with another, specific information that is sensitive, because such information requires responses that are well thought, considerate, and without any judgments.
Therefore, from this perspective, as such, I have discovered that I am a mindful listener, as compared to a competent listener. While I sometimes present negative listening habits, I have several listening strengths relating to the mindful listener.