It is an adventure to be crazy
I have had a personal struggle on whether I am crazy or uncrazy for as long as I can remember. It was among those issues that I deliberated internally at length. My lasting conclusion was; I AM CRAZY.
Recently, meaning this past Saturday, I wrote on my WhatsApp status this conclusion. Finally, I said it to the world. The world already thought I was crazy, and I just proved it right, right? Wrong. The relief that came to me that night quickly faded as I regularly checked who had viewed my status, my friends.
My friends do not think I am crazy. Shocking! Either I do not know myself or my friends do not know me as well as I thought. So, which was it? It is both. Only a handful concurred with me. The rest, the verdict is out, they are afraid to say it out loud. I don’t blame them for repressing their true feelings on the topic. But I do blame them for judging me wrongly (a story for another day).
I arrived at the; I am crazy deduction after accessing my life facts. I will expound on three connected aspects below.
Firstly, I rarely conform to society. The society says, go right; I go left. The why can solely based on the “society.” I mean, who the society is. The Cambridge English Dictionary defines a society as a group of people living together in an organized fashion.
In this regard, the society is my family; friends, relatives, and other onlookers who I don’t know me but have a right to tell me how to live my life. I would not, in my right mind, listen to most of this society, government included. By the parameters they choose to live, they prove future results if I conform to their guidelines and rules. That is not entirely the future that I want. Their happiness is the primary basis of comprehending the success of their choices.
But, what happens if I do not conform? Will the world stop spinning? Will global warming end? Will we stop breathing and die? I don’t think so. I may end up doing “illegal” things that put me behind bars or end up killing me (if I were scared of death, that would be a thing). That is the worst-case scenario.
On the flip side, it leads to my second reason for diagnosing myself as crazy, risk. I am the most risk-driven person you will find. I would say risk is my middle name. I love risking because it always pays off. Here is a sneak read about risk:
The year, 2011 me, a first-year student enrolled in Kenyatta University to study Bachelors of Commerce. At the time, accounting, business, economics was end game for parents (emphasis on parents), and students who did not know any better. In May, I got into first class. It was torture. I found myself sitting at the back of an overflowing lecture hall. The lecturer, an old, mixed suit man, taught inaudibly over the static microphone. I understood nothing but still stayed on till the lecture ended. It was not at all bad; there were times I would be early for lectures too. I was literally on the first row, and the lecturer, a young, handsomely dressed man, taught into a clear microphone. As he taught, he glanced at me for one second. The expression on his eyes woke me up from my slipping life. I looked to the left and the right, only to find me in thirty different outfits dreamingly staring at the lecturer. I understood everything but still stayed on until the lecture ended.
The following day, I filled my degree transfer paper to Bachelors of Theatre Arts and Film Technology, and let’s say the rest is history.
That I take significant risks is deemed crazy. The question is, why do I take life-changing risks? Simple, I refuse to conform to society. Conforming to me means being mediocre and a joke (a bad one at that). I would be just another woman, just another Mary, just another student, just another writer. Well, I do not think so. That would be insane.
Albert Einstein comes to my defense, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting different results.”
Going to a lecture that bored me to sleep just because I am supposed to again and again would be insane. Going to a lecture where I just fantasized about a land where only the lecturer and I existed because it was an escape from reality would be insane. Going semester after semester, studying a course I did not like would be insane. Am I insane? No! I am crazy, but I am not insane. I repeat, I am crazy… but I am not insane. Let us not confuse the two, alright?! OKAY.
Now, my last reason in support of my craziness? The proof is in the pudding (Ben Zimmer). I always walk on the road less traveled. Proverbs 7:13-14 states,
“Enter through the narrow gate (path). For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”
I know, right? Didn’t peg me to be a religious or spiritual person. Did you?
Well, I am. I believe in a Higher Power and the unknown. This scripture symbolizes the narrow and the wide correlating to the unknown and the known (a blog post at a later date). I strongly believe in the narrow unknown path which sums up my craziness.
This perspective does not conform to the known society and is risky as ever (fighting the urge to curse). However, it is what drives me. It moves me to make radical decisions, taking chances that others would never consider jumping into the deep end to swim or swim, and taking risks one after another.
It is an adventure to be crazy (Mary Wamae). Being crazy enhances my intelligence, creativeness, curiosity, kindness, positivity, etcetera. It is healthy to be crazy; you will worry less and work smarter; you will laugh more and be happy; you will live more and succeed. Embrace your craziness as well.
A Facebook post from my former lecturer moved me to use this blog post as my comment.
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check your 3 friends; if they are okay, you are the nut head!
Professor, I am the proud nut head!