Relationship Case Study
Introduction
There are many ways of keeping a relationship healthy and alive. People explore it in different ways as long as it makes them happy. Some partners will go on romantic date nights. Others will opt to stay indoors. Others prefer staying close to each so that to keep the relationship bond alive. There are basic ways, however, that are necessary for a relationship: excellent communication, intimacy, growth, and understanding each other beyond their cultures. In our scenario, the couple at hand seems to have problems since they lack these factors. Lack of communication is, however, critical since it tends to affect the rest. The male partner in the scenario requires the right communication tactics as well as a lack of reading the non-verbal cues. He makes his conclusion on things instead of asking for what he wants. Also, the female lacks good communication since she’s unable to confront a situation directly but instead asks for help. They are both from different cultures, and instead, from learning from each other, they build a judgmental attitude, which couldn’t resolve their situation. Both partners should, therefore, understand each other’s culture and learn how to communicate and how to interpret non-verbal cues. Also, they should understand each person’s intimate life and be ready to learn from each other as they grow.
Analysis
Positive communication is a significant component in a relationship between partners. When communication lacks or when there’s poor communication, it weakens the connection and may cause the relationship to crumble. The effects of poor communication are that it threatens the existence of that relationship and reduces self-esteem as well as self-confidence, thus affecting the intimate part of the relationship (APA, 2020). Listening is essential in inter-personal communication in a relationship, and so is using the right channel to communicate. APA (2020) explains that in a relationship, both partners should listen before speaking, allow the other person to speak, should go directly to the point, understand body language, and agree or disagree on things. In our case, both parties have poor communication techniques. The boyfriend is unable to learn the non-verbal cues of his girlfriend. When she asks him to help her with the groceries, he does don’t go directly to the point. He comes to explain to her later that it was a competitor game, which by then, the girlfriend was already mad at him. Also, she should have told him that it was rude not to help her or else she should have understood. Lack of proper communication may also read to miscommunication (APA, 2020). The girlfriend started to compare the energy he put on his game and the one he had to listen to her. Since the boyfriend had not directly explained to her, it leads to miscommunication between them. Therefore, positive communication is vital; that is saying what you mean precisely, and so is active listening.
The couple didn’t have the right channel of communication, and also they had poor communication techniques. The girlfriend tries to use the conflict escalation technique of generalization to blame the boyfriend for not helping him with the groceries. She explains, “You know, sometimes I wonder what’s more important to you, the video games or me.” She generalized the current situation with other situations. She fails to explain the different situations, which may make the boyfriend feel he was personally attacked. Also, the girlfriend doesn’t exactly tell the boyfriend directly that he had poor communication, but instead, she sends it to the friend to get her approval. She should have directly confronted her boyfriend with the issue and talked it through. That is, she should have stayed on point to make the resolution simpler. The two of them should, therefore, have a positive communication which involves active listening and saying what you mean.
Understanding of cultures and learning them may also help a relationship to flourish. Culture is shared beliefs, values, and norms by a group of people (Therapist, 2016). The people usually have a sense of belonging, and it makes it hard to understand and go contrary to one’s beliefs. Close ties lead to cross-cultural relationships where parties should learn from the other person and understand their cultures. However, the loyalty we feel towards our own culture and traditions can sometimes mean we find it difficult to understand another culture (Therapist, 2016). It might create issues between the two parties due to differing beliefs and traditions, different identities, and diverse upbringing. The partners will, therefore, tend to argue over petty things like clothing, eating, sharing of chores, and money. Therefore there should be some understanding between them. Therapist (2016) explains the leaning of the person’s culture as well as understanding it makes communication between them easier to understand. The partners should, therefore, understand where the other person is coming from, which makes it easier to understand, respect, and compromise.
In our scenario, the two parties come from different cultural groups. The boyfriend is from China, while the girlfriend is from America. It means that they have different cultural background and upbringing. When the boyfriend goes to the girl’s place to help her move, he expects to receive a warm welcome and something to eat. Unfortunately, he finds that his girlfriend is still sleeping, and he doesn’t even cook for him in the long term. He finds himself comparing her girl with people from China. He doesn’t understand the cultural diversity, and nor does the girlfriend. Since if they both know about each other’s culture, they should have acted accordingly, or either of them could have comprised. Therefore, cross-cultural requires that the couples understand, respect, and compromise as well as blend the values and expectations from the two cultures.
Also, intimacy in relationships goes beyond the sexual realm. It’s about being emotionally close to someone, and being able to share your feelings and thoughts without any restrictions. Romantic relationships and friendships should be intimate. In relationships, however, they keep the bond between the two people stronger, fosters closeness, love, and affection between couples. The sturdy bond build between the two of them will help iron out their negativity and indifferences (Sine, 2020). Couples should, therefore, relate intimately with each other to help keep their relationship healthy. In our case scenario, the couple doesn’t seem to have a healthy intimate relationship. The boyfriend is more into adventuring when the girl is more often not interested. Sine (2020) explains that men have more robust sex drives than women. The sexual desire for men is more straightforward than women since women are susceptible to the environment and context. Therefore, men will tend to think more about sex and have less complicated turn on than women. In our scenario, the study by Sine proves to be true since the girlfriend gets homosexual turn on, meaning she has a more complicated turn on than her boyfriend. She also doesn’t have a sex drive as her boyfriend. Castleman (201) explains that in resolving the problem of difference in sexual desires, couples should consider scheduling sex dates, know what the other partners want and be ready to learn and also negotiate a compromise frequency. It will, therefore, help the two of them to be in the mood for it and improve their intimate relationship.
In a relationship, petty things tend to make more sense than the big things. Supporting each other’s interests and goals helps in a relationship since it creates long-lasting bonds. The partners should give each other positive supports in a relationship, which includes attachment and caregiving, effective caring, supports goals and intimacy, and shared activities. In our scenario, the two of them don’t share their activities, which could be the source of their problems. The boyfriend is a SCUBA diver and skydiver in which he explains that his girlfriend supports her to pursue her hobbies. However, he explores them alone. He goes on trips alone without her support. Also, the girlfriend goes to the grocery store alone, which is evident when she comes back from the store, and the boyfriend is playing video games. The two of them should hence try to explore all of that together, which will create a stronger bond since they will spend adequate time together.
Conclusion
The major ingredient of a healthy relationship is communication. Communication takes care of the other components that are necessary for a relationship. When there is positive communication, which good communication channel and active listening, it’s easier to come to an agreement as well as understand each other behavior. Also, the couples should try building their bond and strengthening it through supporting each other’s goals actively, learning each other cultural background, and respect and compromising their sexual desires. Therefore, in our current situation, the couple lacks effective communication in their relationship, lacks to appreciate each other’s culture, which lessens their bond. They should, therefore, work on their communication first and then try to create a stronger bond between themselves by supporting each other and understanding as well as compromising their sexual desires and different cultures.