Self-Reflection in Communication
Day 1
My day started on a pleasing note, and I made a point to greet all colleagues and guests visiting the office. As I was very joyous and bubbly, I also engaged in a little chit chat with some of my colleagues. However, this happiness was short-lived when a former patient called me on the phone, complaining bitterly about her treatment and how we handled her when she was at our hospital. She sounded profoundly distressed and was made some deeply hurtful and accusatory statements about me, her nurse, while she was at this hospital. She even threatened to sue the hospital. She argued that the hospital had neglected her, and as such, she had developed some severe and constant painful migraines since treatment. Hearing her speak, my spirit was much dampened, and I felt like I had failed as a nurse because I was the one specifically in charge of her care and treatment. As I was dumbfounded, I was unable to speak and just kept listening while she was complaining. However, when she said, “…you were the worst nurse I have ever encountered…” I felt like I could just break down and cry. I quickly interrupted her and assured her that I would get back to her soon, and then hang up the call. Immediately, I cried while murmuring to myself. ‘Why does anyone have to be so mean?’ I asked myself. I quickly talked to Annie, who is a fellow nurse and close friend. My communication style had changed, and I was more direct and brief, as opposed to my usual bubbly self. I couldn’t help it; after all, I was upset.
Annie reassured me and told me to cool down before approaching our nursing supervisor. As it was almost noon, I decided to proceed with my work and would communicate with the supervisor later. I remained quiet for the rest of the day and just focused on doing my job. In the evening, I went home.
Day 2
The day began on a somber note, as I had to address yesterday’s issue with my supervisor. I was nervous and kept wondering what the reaction would be. This morning, I did not dilly-dally or chat as much as I did yesterday, but went straight to the supervisor’s office. This time around, I was very direct, and I informed the supervisor of the previous day proceedings. His reactions shocked me, as I had not seen this side of him before. He was visibly upset and started shouting. Just as the client was, my supervisor remarked that I was probably incompetent and failed to take good care of the patient.
I was beyond shocked and stood there dumbfounded. I just remained silent as my supervisor leveled his accusations. Deep down, I felt disappointed that my boss did not hear me out and doubted my competency as a nurse despite having worked at the hospital for so many years. I just nodded as he spoke, but deep down, I just needed to speak out and defend myself.
As soon as I left his office, I took some time in the office garden to reflect and think about the previous two day’s happenings. By this time, I was very hurt. I just started crying. I just needed to be alone and deeply reflect ‘…Was I really in the wrong, what really transpired, what’s the way forward?’ These questions just kept ringing in my head. I did not talk to anyone but only proceeded to go home after that.
Day 3
I was still bitter from the previous day’s events, so I did not want to speak or communicate with anyone in the hospital except for work-related concerns. A senior nurse, Joy, who is also a close friend, noticed my behavior, and came to spend some time working with me. She inquired about my state and whether I was fine at work or not. At first, I shrugged her off as I was scared that I would break down and start crying. I had not communicated my worries and concerns with anyone up until then, and I was afraid I would erupt like a volcano.
However, as soon she gently placed her hand on my shoulder, in a reassuring kind of manner, tears just started flowing down my face. I could not help it; I just had to let it all out. It was visibly apparent that I was not okay; I had even contemplated quitting my job. Joy saw this and took me outside, where we could be alone, just the two of us. At this point, I confided in her everything that had transpired my pain, fear, and worries. I told her about the shouts and my disappointment at how I had been treated so far.
Understandingly, she took me to step by step as we seek to understand the root of the issue. We both tried to decipher the patients’ concerns as we attempted to solve the problem. As Joy and I were deliberating on the problem, we evaluated and concluded that the patient was probably suffering some side effects of the medicines we had administered to her, and this made her assume that she was wrongly treated. It was then that I felt at peace since the whole situation had transpired. For once, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I quickly hugged Joy and excused myself. The beaming smile on her face made me and her happy.
Day 4
I was re-energized, happy, and excited for this day. I was looking forward to solving all the issues that had transpired over the past few days and getting back on track. Unlike the previous days, I was happier, more relaxed, and even my communication with my colleagues had improved. Annie and Joy remarked that I had become ‘myself’ once again.
I quickly made a follow-up phone call with the patient who had called me days back. This time I was more expressive and inquired about her present state of health. She seemed relaxed as well and had an apologetic tone of voice (most probably because of how she has treated me earlier). I apologized for her experience and explained to her the reasons behind her state of health. I also patiently advised and re-evaluated her conditions, her medication, and the symptoms she was experiencing because of her illness. This time, our communication was very lively, engaging, and fruitful. I admit I have never had such an amicable engagement with a patient before. She was relieved after she understood the cause of her migraines, and so was I.
After that, I talked to Joy and explained everything to her. She promised to schedule a meeting with the supervisor for the next day to review our findings. I was thrilled the day had been a success and went home happy and relieved.
Day 5
Being the last day of the work-week, I was relieved and looking forward to a weekend full of rest. I worked cheerfully, attending to the needs of my patients while looking forward to the meeting with the supervisor.
When the time came, Joy and I went to the supervisor’s office. I was still quiet, as Joy did most of the talking. However, I also expressed myself and what transpired with the patient. The supervisor seemed remorseful and expressed apologies for how he had treated me. At last, I was happy and at peace. I felt vindicated.
Looking back, I realized that I probably did not express myself well to the patient and my supervisor, and this was perhaps the root cause of the entire misunderstanding. I marveled at the importance of excellent communication, as I was reflecting on how everything only worked out because of Joy’s intervention. As I left the office, I thought deeply. I decided to improve my verbal and non-verbal communication skills, as they obviously had a significant impact on my work and personal relations. I had focused too much on being a qualified and competent nurse, yet I had ignored the logistical and communications aspect of it, which was more important. I resolved to become a better and more efficient communicator.
References
Semradova, I., & Hubackova, S. (2015). Communication Self-reflection in Language Education. Procedia – Social and Behavioral Sciences, 182, 45-50. Doi: 10.1016/j.sbspro.2015.04.735
Rosenbaum, A., & Uhl, R. (2016). Self-Reflection: Using Journal Entries to Enhance Teaching and Orthopedic Resident Communication. Orthopedics, 39(3), 141-142. Doi: 10.3928/01477447-20160503-06
Alsaawi, A. (2019). Spoken and Written Language as Medium of Communication: A Self-Reflection. SSRN Electronic Journal. Doi: 10.2139/ssrn.3488566