Who Is Really Listening in Conflict Resolution?
Listening is one of the crucial skills needed to ensure a mediation exercise happens successfully. Central to successful mediation is the understanding and interpretation of the parties’ views. This success can only be achieved when the participants of the conflict resolution process listen attentively. However, it is common in most cases for the parties involved in a conflict to avoid listening to each other. And in case they listen, they only do so to refute what the other party says. This situation frequently creates heightened emotions, which make it difficult for the parties to listen effectively. It follows, to have a successful mediation procedure, it is not only the mediator who should develop keen listening skills, but also the participants themselves.
Firstly, mediators “must be excellent listeners”. Mediators take an active part in the mediation process by facilitating communication between the parties. Unfortunately, mediators fail to achieve effective dialogue between the parties as a result of poor listening skills. Mediators must also focus not only on the words being said but also on their emotions. Such in-depth listening enables mediators to know what exactly motivates the parties to hold their respective stands. It also enables them to identify each party’s needs when they are called to identify the issues in the conflicts. At the same time, mediators should avoid making judgments on what the parties should say and how bad their decisions were. Specifically, they use “reflective listening” to help the parties change their motivations. Therefore, mediators should be both active and passive listeners. They should listen passively to keep the communication process flowing, and actively, to help identify the parties’ motivations. They should also avoid interrupting the parties as they speak.
On the other hand, as aforementioned, the parties to the conflict also need to be good listeners. In conflict situations, the greatest need of the parties is to make peace between themselves. Besides, in such circumstances, one needs to listen more to the person whom they disagree with, to arrive at a consensus. This means each party needs to listen carefully to the other to understand the other’s motivation. The parties can listen effectively when they develop an open mindset. Listening with an open mind helps them get rid of any bias towards the other party. As much as each party seeks to bring forth their side of the story, they should be ready to listen and appreciate the other party’s concerns. Notably, they should allow themselves to learn from what the other parties say. At least, this may help them get rid of any misconceptions they had about the other parties. Finally, listening helps the parties develop a rapport, which leads to the settlement of disagreements.
It follows, listening during conflict resolution processes involves paying complete attention to the conversation. The mind must be fixed at the moment. It is common for people to listen partially during conversations to the point that as other people speak, the listeners’ minds get busy looking for responses. This challenge explains why conflict resolution efforts are not successful. And while listening, the participants should read between the lines and focus on both the context and the emotions that motivate the speakers. All dialogues in the minds of the listeners need to be shut down. At the same time, the participants should avoid forming judgments in their thoughts. Another critical component of listening actively is the use of non- verbal cues. Indeed, body language plays an important part in enhancing communication. Participants of conflict resolution processes should use these cues to help them pay more attention to what is being said. For instance, maintaining eye contact gives the perception of sincerity and straightforwardness. These cues, when used appropriately, may also help create a reassuring environment.
In conclusion, every participant in the conflict resolution process needs to listen keenly. The goal of listening is to understand the situation from all the parties. And while speaking, every participant in the process should aim at ensuring the listeners understand their thoughts. It follows; active listening helps the parties see and appreciate other people’s perspectives more clearly. The parties would, therefore, have no reason to settle scores. When this happens, conflicts would be resolved faster and more effectively.